Falling for the Enemy
by The Kobold Necromancer
Summary: Old habits die hard, as Duncan loots something from the Gopher girls' cabin. He's caught, more than once, and eventually he is alone with the enemy of his desires. The question is, will they kill each other before they kiss? Duncan/Leshawna.


**Title** - Falling for the Enemy

**Disclaimer** - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI and TDA. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Do not try any of this at home (except for the kissing, but with non-family members).

**Summary** - Duncan takes to looting something from the Gopher's girls cabin. He's caught by the enemy of his dreams, but then things get really bad. After finding themselves lost in the forest, it's only a matter of time before they either kill each other or kiss.

**The Kobold Necromancer's Warning** - This one goes out to **Winter-Rae**, who's been an absolute sweetheart. I ask all of you to go check out her stories, no wait, I _demand_ it! Go now, don't read this, read hers!

**Pairings** - Main is **Duncan**/**Leshawna**. Side pairings are **Izzy/Ezekiel **and **Harold/Bridgette**.

**Rating** - Rated T for light language, sexual innuendoes, mild violence, and other fun stuff that puts it right over K+.

**Time Setting** - This takes place after the first challenge, right after Duncan leaves the Killer Bass when they were discussing who will be voted off first.

* * *

**Chapter Only** - Falling for the Enemy

* * *

Duncan yawned as he started to walk towards the Killer Bass cabin. He had no worries that they might vote him off first. Why would they, he jumped off that stupid cliff? He was quite satisfied right now, that he walked out on that pointless argument, though he was a little irked.

"_First day on this crappy island, and I've got the shrieking cyclops already on my case_," he thought bitterly, rolling his eyes. "_Reminds me of my parole officer._"

His train of thought was interrupted when an almost inhuman-roar came from the cafeteria, startling him. He turned around to see Ezekiel running out the door, holding onto his toque for dear life. A couple chairs were thrown at him from inside the cafeteria, and Eva stomped onto the patio.

"If I see you again, you sexist twerp," she bellowed, "I'll rip your head off!"

She slammed the door, splintering it and nearly knocking it off her hinges. Duncan winced, then shook his head.

"What planet did they find her on, I wonder," he mused to himself.

Ezekiel ran by him, wheezing and holding onto his neck. Duncan's keen criminal eye noted he had several marks that looked like someone had been strangling him.

"What the hell did you say in there?" he asked.

The prairie boy gasped for air, wiping the sweat from his brow. "I... I doo'nt knoo', eh... but... it was obviously the wrong thing, eh."

"Ya think?" Duncan said, chuckling. "I've seen inmates in prison who weren't as vicious as that girl, and none of them looked at murderous as she just did, not even the murderers."

"I... had no idea... that girls could get that mad, eh!"

The criminal burst out laughing. "Dude," he managed to say between laughs, "you have a lot to learn about the real world."

Ezekiel hung his head in shame as Duncan continued. "Don't you know that women who get mad are the best kind? It's a real turn-on for guys."

The prairie boy looked at the criminal as if he was insane. "It is? She tried to kill me!"

"I don't mean Eva, she belongs in the circus as the World's Strongest Woman. I mean a woman who gets tough and in your face, one who doesn't take crap. Like...

"Like Leshawna, on the other team."

"You mean that big, black woman?"

"Yep, big and sassy," Duncan remarked, chuckling as he stroked his goatee. "What I wouldn't give for her to be on our team."

"Why?"

"Are you that daft?" the punk slapped the home schooled boy upside the head. "A woman like that would not only make a great teammate, but she's really hot."

As Ezekiel rubbed the sore spot of his head, he muttered, "You think she's hot?"

"What, you don't?" Duncan grabbed the prairie boy's jacket and pulled him close. "It's because she's a little overweight, isn't it?"

"No no no, eh," Ezekiel sputtered, holding up in his hands in defense. "I just... I didn't expect to hear you swooning over a girl, eh!"

"I'm not swooning! You'd better not tell anyone about this!"

"I promise I woo'nt, eh."

He let go of Ezekiel and sighed. "Alright dude, I believe you won't. And... thanks, whatev's.

"Now if you'll excuse me," he said as he headed off to the Screaming Gophers cabin.

"Where are you going, eh?" Ezekiel called out to him. "Our cabin's over here."

"I know, I just need to get something I accidentally left in the Screaming Gophers cabin," he lied.

Ezekiel shrugged, then walked over to the Confessional Can; he had a lot to say, and he knew no one on the island wanted to listen.

Duncan waited until Ezekiel was in the outhouse, then he quickly headed into the _girls_' side of the Gophers cabin. "_Once a criminal_," he thought as a sly grin spread across his face, "_always a criminal._"

He immediately began searching through the suitcases of the girls, trying to find Leshawna's. He wanted a little token of hers, since he was obviously not going to be able to speak to her on friendly terms while he was on this stupid island.

His attraction had started ever since the plus-sized sister had started shouting at Harold for his odd comments on the Dock of Shame. It had tripled when, from the bottom of the cliff, he saw her pick up Heather and throw her off the cliff.

"_Now there's a real woman_," he had thought to himself, "_and_ damn_, she looks good in that bathing suit_."

The more Duncan thought about Leshawna, the more he was convinced that _she_ should have been on his team, or vice versa. "_I should have been with the Gophers, they're more my kind, and the women are so much hotter. Instead I get stuck with the bossy freckle face, the air headed twins, and that blue-suited gorilla._"

The criminal stopped ranting in his thoughts when his hands came in contact with a soft, large-sized bra. "Say," he purred, holding it up, "C-cup. Score."

Something was written on the tag in pink ink. "Lindsay," with a heart over the 'i'. He stuffed them back in the suitcase.

"Maybe another time," he whispered to himself. "Now where's Leshawna's?"

He pawed through more suitcases, resisting the urge to take underwear from the suitcases of Gwen (black underwear, which was really sexy), Heather (pink too, so tempting), and Izzy (green, and eerily had notes on the tags saying 'Steal this and die!').

Finally, the criminal remembered something that made him slap his forehead. "_She has that leopard print luggage, you idiot_," he chastised himself.

As he searched through the luggage, he got excited as he thought, "_What if she has leopard-print underwear?_"

Then he found it. A large, royal purple bra, obviously her size. With a wicked grin, he held it up and observed. "Now there's a real woman," he said to himself.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?!"

He froze. Looking around very slowly with deer-in-headlight eyes, he saw Leshawna standing in the doorway.

And she looked mad as hell.

"Um," he stammered, then he forced himself to grin slyly, "what's it look like, beautiful?"

"Oh no no no no," she shouted, storming into the room. Her face was scrunched up in fury, looking quite adorable to Duncan. "You are _not_ looking through my clothing, are you?"

"Just certain parts."

She reached for her bra, but Duncan hid it behind his back. He wiggled his unibrow at her, chuckling playfully. Leshawna un-playfully began to roll up her sleeves.

"That's it, jailbird white boy," she spat, cracking her knuckles. "I'm about to unseal a can of whoop-ass on you."

"Now now, beautiful," he said, backing up. When his back hit the wall, he chuckled some more. "Can you blame a man for being interested in a woman?"

"Not when he's pawing through my underwear!"

"But hey," he said as he grabbed his shirt collar, much like how he had grabbed Ezekiel earlier, "I had to resort to desperate measures, since you're not exactly on my team, beautiful."

"Quit calling me that," she shouted. "I don't like being made fun of, you hear?"

"I'm not making fun. Honest."

Leshawna's eyes scanned his. Though he had that sly smile, he seemed to be speaking with all sincerity. Her grip loosened just a bit.

"You playin' me, white boy?" she snapped.

"Absolutely not. You're a real woman."

"A 'real woman'? What are you talking about? You get hit in the head or something?"

Before Duncan could answer, some more movement in the doorway caught his eye. His blue eyes shrunk in terror as he saw what it was.

"What?" Leshawna asked, looking around to see what had caught his eye.

A large brown bear was on the patio of the cabin, sniffing. It was right outside the doorway, and with one turn of its large head, it's black eyes focused on the two.

Leshawna whimpered a very bad word as she let go of Duncan, both starting to shake in fear. The bear stared at the two, as if trying to distinguish what they were.

Duncan, moving very slowly, started to slide the window open. "Go through it," he whispered to her.

"What?" she whimpered, her eyes never leaving the bear.

"Go through the window."

"You crazy, white b-"

The bear started to growl. Leshawna let out a cry of terror and headed for the window as instructed. She found herself stuck, however.

"Oh no no, damn it," she shouted. "Stupid hips of mine!"

Duncan leaned against her butt with his shoulders and started to push. The bear started to move towards him, bearing its teeth and snarling.

"Push harder," Leshawna shouted.

"I'm trying," Duncan shouted back. He then rammed her with his shoulder, knocking her through. As the bear became way too close for comfort, he threw himself out the window, landing right on Leshawna.

The plus-sized sister strained, waiting for him to get up. "What's a bear doing in campgrounds?" she grumbled.

"I don't know, but I'm gonna sue Chris for this..."

Duncan froze as he saw the bear come to the window, and started to push its bulky frame through the window. The punk grabbed Leshawna's hand and yanked her to her feet.

"That window ain't gonna hold for long," he shouted, starting to run.

"Where are we going?" Leshawna shouted, almost panicked.

"Who cares," the punk shouted back, "as long as it's away from the bear!!"

After the two took off, the bear stopped trying to squeeze through the window. Feeling stupid, even for a bear, he lumbered out of the cabin. Leshawna and Duncan ran north and into the woods.

Falling down behind a tree, the two were panting and gasping for air. Leshawna wiped her brow, then shot a glare at Duncan.

"I'm... gonna... kill you... you scrawny punk."

"Hey... that... wasn't... my fault..."

"No... but you were the one stealing my underwear, which," she snapped as she pointed at his hand, "you are _still_ holding onto!"

"Look beautiful," he said, holding his free hand up in defense, "if I wasn't there, that bear would have dined on you. You almost became a chocolate dinner for him."

"What what what?!" Leshawna shouted, standing up in indignant rage. "What did you just call me?"

"Beautiful."

"No, I mean the 'chocolate' part!"

"Well, you do have chocolate-colored skin," Duncan said, grinning slyly again. "Or do you prefer mocha?"

Leshawna threw her hands up, crying out in frustration. "What is the matter with you? Are you _trying_ to piss me off?"

"Can I help it if you look really hot when you're mad?"

Duncan leaned against a tree, looking her over. He looked over her, grinning as he admired her. He never had a chance to do so up-close, and now he finally could. She had such killer thighs, a great chest, and full lips that he wouldn't mind giving a big kiss...

"What are you staring at?" she cut off his daydream.

"Just looking," Duncan said.

"How about I pluck those baby blue eyes of yours, Baby Boy?" she replied, flexing her fingers.

Duncan burst out laughing. " 'Baby Boy'? Is that what you're gonna call me?"

"It suits you! You're immature, you get into everything, you have baby blue eyes-"

"So you like my eyes?"

"I didn't say that," she replied, though the way she looked away and huffed said otherwise to him.

"Oh yes you did," he bat his eyes at her. "Can you resist?"

"Duncan," she said. Her saying his name caught his attention. "Would you please stop flirting with me?"

"Why? I like you, sister."

"Don't give me that bull. I've seen the way you look at Heather and Lindsay. You prefer those model-like white girls with the large racks and skinny legs-"

"Bah, they're eye candy," Duncan waved his hand. "You're a real woman."

"Now what do you mean by that?"

Duncan would have answered, but he saw the brown bear lumbering towards the forest. "I'll tell you later," he said, pointing at the great beast. The two headed off deeper into the woods to flee from four-hundred pounds of grizzly death.

* * *

Chris Maclean stood at the oil drum, looking over the Killer Bass seated there. He noted how the five girls were all staring at Ezekiel, vengeful and eager. They wanted him off, and it looked like his fate had been sealed.

"_Hell hath no fury like a woman... dissed,_" Chris thought. "_Never really remembered how that went. Oh well._"

"Well campers, you blew it big," he said. "And now it's time for the marshmallow ceremony. We have ten marshmallows, and eleven campers. If you don't get one...

"You're out of the contest. You're walking the Dock of Shame, boarding the Boat of Losers, and you're not coming back... ever!"

That snapped all eyes, even the angry girls, to him. Geoff had been clowning around, trying to catch Bridgette's attention. Harold was also looking at the surfer girl, twiddling his fingers nervously. Ezekiel was staring down at the ground, looking like a man who knew his dreaded fate.

The host would have continued, but after doing a quick head count, he realized he didn't have eleven campers.

"Where's Duncan?" he asked.

"He's not here?" Courtney said, looking around. Her one good eye scanned her teammates. "Oh... he's not."

"Where'd he go?" DJ asked. "Did anyone see him?"

"Not me, dude," Geoff remarked.

"Maybe he doesn't know where we are?" Sadie asked Katie.

"But we're right next to the campgrounds," the thinner BFFF said, jerking her thumb towards said campgrounds. The Screaming Gophers were having their hot tub party over there, as if to rub it in the Killer Bass team's face.

"Well, no matter," Courtney said, shrugging. "He's probably stealing something or whatever he's wanted for."

"We're gonna need him for the ceremony," Chris said, crossing his arms.

"Do we?" Courtney said, looking annoyed. "Look, I'm sure no one voted for him."

"That's not important."

"It is too! We all know _he_ has been voted off," the CIT shouted, pointing at Ezekiel. The prairie boy looked at her sadly, then back down at the ground.

"No, the rules are that you all must be at the bonfire ceremony," the host said. "If someone's not here, then it means disqualification."

"What?!"

It was Ezekiel who had spoke out in shock over this. "You're not going to eliminate Duncan just because he's not here, are you?"

"It's the rules, prairie dude," Chris said, shrugging.

"But that's not fair, eh! He's probably just sleeping in the cabin! Here, I'll go get him."

Ezekiel stood up and headed off towards the cabins. Chris chuckled, then called out to the prairie boy. "Oh Ezekiel! Are you sure you want to do this?"

"What do you mean, eh?" the home schooled boy asked, looking around.

"Dude, you heard what Courtney said," the host said, pointing at her and then the other girls. "These ladies all look pretty adamant about who they don't want here. If Duncan isn't disqualified, and I'm not implying anything here, but it's more than likely you're the goner."

Ezekiel looked briefly at his teammates. The girls all frowned at him, especially Courtney. The prairie boy sighed, then shrugged.

"I've got a lot to learn a'boot the real world, I guess," he said, "but I knoo' what's fair."

With a spin on his foot, he continued over to the cabins. The Killer Bass and Chris Maclean were quiet.

"What a moron," Courtney said as she sat down.

"Oh I don't know," Eva replied. "I think it's awfully smart of him to want to leave this island while I'm here."

* * *

Duncan stared up at the night sky through the trees. "I wonder if they've started the marshmallow ceremony without me."

"Who cares about that?" Leshawna barked. "We're lost in the woods."

"We are not lost," Duncan said. "We are heading back the way we walked in."

"You said that two hours ago," she replied, glancing at her watch. "Just face it, Duncan, we're lost! This is all your fault."

"Look beautiful, we may be a little lost, but this isn't that big of an island."

"Stop calling me that, Baby Boy, that ain't gonna be your little pet name for me."

"Oh, so we have pet names for each other now?"

Leshawna fumed as Duncan looked back at him with a sly grin. After he turned back to look ahead of him, she continued to glare daggers at the back of his head.

Stupid boy, with that stupid rock star-wannabe hair. Though he did pull it off, and the piercings too; she didn't know how, but he did actually manage to make his facial piercings look handsome.

Maybe it was how strong he looked. He obviously worked out, he had a firm chest, firm legs, and a firm butt. That butt of his, strutting in front of her, was almost exposed to her the way he wore his pants. If those pants slid down a little, she might see it...

"You've gone quiet, Leshawna," Duncan said, still looking forward. "Everything alright?"

"Whazzat?" she stammered, snapped very quickly from her staring.

"You're usually the talker."

"Hey now, I know you're not saying I have a big mouth."

"The bigger the better," Duncan said, turning around. With that sexy, sly grin, he came face to face with her. "Makes it all the more desirable to kiss."

Leshawna gaped at him for a couple seconds, then glared at her. "Gimme one reason why I shouldn't knock your block off, Baby Boy."

" 'Cuz you like me, beautiful."

He poked her collar bone playfully. She grabbed his arm and began to twist it painfully.

"Ow ow ow," he shouted.

"You do not poke me, you got that?"

"Yeeeow, okay okay, beautiful!"

"And stop calling me that!"

"Ow! Alright... Leshawna!"

She let go of him. He gasped and flexed his arm, glaring at her as she grinned wickedly at him.

"You do actually sound cute," he said, "when you're pleading."

"Oh please," he grumbled, walking forward again.

"I should let your team know that you have a cute squeal," she continued. "I'll bet you're ticklish too!"

"I am not!"

She began to tickle his sides. As it turned out, Duncan was exceptionally ticklish and he immediately began thrashing. She continued her assault, and he tried to get away from her. Laughing despite himself, he fell over. Leshawna tripped over his legs, and landed on him.

Though she was heavy, Duncan thought the feeling was great. She looked embarrassed, and he couldn't help but grin at how cute she looked with her eyes wide and her mouth opened slightly as if about to utter something.

"So this is how it'll be?" he asked, grinning. "You want to make out now?"

Leshawna groaned and pulled herself off him, sitting under a tree. Duncan sat up and said, "Hey beautiful, I don't mind you being on top."

She let out a noise that sounded like a combination of a scoff and a laugh. Duncan crawled over and sat down next to her.

"Why are you being such a hater, huh?" he said. "I like you, you like me-"

"You don't like me," she grumbled. "You just like making me mad."

"I do not. Well, maybe a little," he admitted, "but it's not my fault that you get mad when I compliment you."

Leshawna was quiet, her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed. Duncan let her fume a little before continuing. "C'mon babe, what's your deal? Why don't you like me telling you you're beautiful?"

"I still don't think you really mean it," she said, glancing at him. "You're not exactly the nicest guy on the island."

"If I say it, I mean it," he said, looking into her brown eyes as he spoke. "And while I'm not nice, I am straight with people."

She continued to stare at him. "_This cat is something else_," she thought to herself, "_and, I cannot believe I'm thinking this... why do I _want_ to believe him?_"

"Look Duncan," she said, "even if... _if_ there was something between us, we're on different teams. You'll get your butt kicked off if you are seen flirting with me."

"Nice of you to think of me, beautiful."

Leshawna sighed. "You're drive me crazy, Baby Boy."

"Thank you." He smiled, and she felt herself smile back.

* * *

"Duncan?" Ezekiel said, looking into the cabin. "Duncan, are you in here, eh?"

He walked into the cabin, looking at all the beds. All of them were empty. The prairie boy scratched the back of his head, starting to get nervous.

"What are you doing in here, enemy rival unit?"

He turned to see Izzy there, hands on her hips. She was smirking at him, looking rather sly.

"I was looking for Duncan, eh," he said. He felt his face flush for some reason, and it got worse as Izzy strutted over to him.

"This is the Screaming Gopher cabin," she pointed out. She was right up in his bright-red face now. "He is a Killer Bass."

"Well... he... uh...," Ezekiel stammered. Izzy's sly expression was too distracting, he found it to be very attractive. Plus there was the fact that she was only a few inches away from him.

"What, was he heading over here?" she asked.

"Errr... yeah. Said he left something in here accidentally, eh."

Izzy laughed and snorted. "You have a lot to learn about the real world," she giggled.

"I knoo'," he said, hanging his head.

"Oh don't feel down, we all have things to learn," she said. "Even I have things to learn. I don't know how to drive a tank, or how to smelt raw ore, or... hey."

She stopped, and tapped her lips with her finger. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen Leshawna either."

"What?"

"Yeah, the sister hasn't been at the party yet. I only stopped by here to steal boy's underwear, to get the jump on them."

Ezekiel chuckled, and covered his mouth. She grinned at him. "You have a cute laugh, prairie boy."

He felt his face burn from going very red, and he let out a very nervous laugh.

Izzy began to pace.

"Duncan missing, Leshawna missing, what could this mean?"

"Maybe he's with her, eh?"

She was right back in his face, reflexes almost too fast for his eye to track. "What? What is this? One of your units has kidnapped a teammate of mine?"

"No, I mean... Duncan likes Leshawna, and..."

"Oh, you think they went into the forest to neck?" Izzy said, grinning.

As Ezekiel tried to think of how one could 'neck,' the redhead walked behind him. "Bet you would like someone to neck, huh handsome? Kind of killed your chances with what you said at dinner today."

"Izzy," he said, turning around, "this is actually very serious, eh. If I doo'nt find Duncan, he'll be eliminated and sent home."

Izzy blinked, staring at him.

"And you're trying to find him? But your team looked ready to vote you off. You should have heard their rants in the Confessional Cam that I overheard, in a completely innocent manner by pressing my ear to the side of the wall."

Ezekiel shrugged. "It's fair that he stays. I obviously doo'nt belong here. I... I think I really upset the girls with what I said, they all hate me."

"I don't hate you," Izzy said, beaming. "I mean, sure, I don't agree with you but you're just an isolated young man..."

She knocked on his forehead. "And Izzy could help teach you."

"R-really? Why?"

"I like you, Zeke."

" 'Z-Zeke'?" he repeated, blushing.

"Yep! But that's not important now! We must find Leshawna and Duncan, for her sake!"

"Um, don't you mean his?"

"No, her's, because if he is voted off, she won't get his phone number! Or cell number!"

* * *

Chris whistled the opening theme of the show as he waited. The Killer Bass were sitting, chatting amongst themselves. Geoff and Harold were working up the nerve to go sit next to Bridgette, who was sitting alone, waiting patiently.

"What's taking that sexist twerp so long?" Courtney snapped.

"Probably is trying to delay the inevitable," Eva muttered.

As if on cue, Ezekiel, with Izzy next to him, came walking up. Both looked tired, and the prairie boy looked very worried.

"So you didn't find him?" Chris grumbled, looking impatient now.

"We... we searched all of the campgrounds and all the Gophers," Ezekiel panted, "no one has seen Duncan. Or Leshawna!"

"Leshawna's missing too?" the host asked.

"And the girls side of the Gopher cabin smells like bear," Izzy declared. "I know this because bears have a distinct smell, and I'll never forget that kind of smell. Like stale honey and greasy fur, it is."

The Killer Bass and Chris were baffled by Izzy, then the host shrugged. "Alright then. Looks like Duncan's out."

"Wait wait wait," Ezekiel declared, waving his hands. "You can't just do that! They might be in trouble, eh."

"Ezekiel, you're the one who's getting the ax if not him," Chris said, then looked to the side. "Wait, I wasn't supposed to say that."

"He is?" Izzy said, looking crestfallen by this.

"Oh come on, you'd have to be blind not to see that his team hates him right now," the host continued. "So Ezekiel, you'd best forget about finding Duncan if you want to stay on this island."

"I doo'nt care a'boot that, I want to make sure they are all right, eh," Ezekiel shouted. He walked off, and Izzy watched him.

"Now there's a real man," she said, her face a little pink. She hurried after Ezekiel. Chris groaned and slammed his head against the oil drum's lid.

"Damn teenagers," he was muttering as Bridgette stood up and started to walk after Izzy and Ezekiel.

"Bridgette, where are you going?" Courtney asked.

"I'm going to go look for them too," she said. "I don't like the thought that they might be lost or hurt."

"I'll come too," Harold said, standing up. "I have excellent tracking skills, and I could find them so long as they don't cover their tracks!"

"You idiot," Courtney grumbled, "why would they do that?"

Bridgette looked at Harold strangely, then shrugged. "Alright, if you think you can help."

Harold looked crestfallen by Bridgette's dismissive words, but carried on. Geoff would have gone too, but DJ had seen a snake and had leapt in the party guy's lap in horror.

* * *

"So why don't you tell me a little about yourself, Leshawna?" Duncan said, smiling at the large lady. "What's your home town like? You the boss at school?"

"You could say that. I roll with my girlfriends at school," she said, thinking about back home. "Seems so far away now, ya know?"

"Hmmm, whatev's, I don't miss my cell."

"I can only imagine, Baby Boy," she said, scoffing. "But anyway, I got four siblings, and I'm the oldest. You got siblings?"

"Nope."

"Well, they're a handful. I wanna smack 'em sometimes, but I love 'em anyway. Always looking up to their big sister Leshawna."

"You their role model or something?"

"Naw, more like bodyguard. I gotta make sure they check themself before they wreck themself."

"Then you are a role model. Admirable."

"Maybe I should be your role model. You might find yourself not being caged so often then, you jailbird."

"I'd rather you be my girlfriend."

Leshawna gaped at him, then shook her head. "Honestly, white boy, do you have to be so... honest?"

"I say what I think."

"So do I. And I'll tell you right now, I don't date guys who are in jail."

"I'm actually on parole, aka not in jail."

"You'd have to be on the straight and narrow."

Duncan tapped his chin. "Hmm, possible."

"And you'd have to be nice."

The criminal blanched. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me."

"Nope, ain't kidding, my white jailbird. You gotta be nice to my family and girlfriends, and you gotta treat me with respect."

"Man...," Duncan muttered. "I'm _not_ nice."

"I doubt that, though I don't know why. You are nice, I can see it in those baby blue eyes, Baby Boy."

He blushed, and turned his face to hide it, though she saw it. She laughed and slapped his shoulder playfully. "What's the matter? Ashamed to show your nice side?"

"I'm not a nice guy," he repeated.

"Oh really? You saved me from that bear."

"That just shows I'm human."

"Except that you had me go first, when you knew my luscious 'tooshus' was bound to get stuck."

Duncan let out a scoffing laugh. "Or maybe I just wanted to see that 'luscious tooshus' there right in front of me."

"Stop denying it already, or I'll twist your arm again."

She grinned when he saw him shiver. "_Oh yeah_," she thought, "_I am lovin' teasin' him_."

* * *

"It looks like she was here," Bridgette said, looking at Leshawna's open suitcase. "But that doesn't explain Duncan."

"Maybe he was stealing underwear," Izzy suggested, giggling. "He wouldn't dare take mine, I put warning labels on them."

"He was heading to the Gopher cabin, last I saw him, eh," Ezekiel pointed out.

Bridgette gave the prairie boy an unfriendly look. "What are _you_ doing in here? This is the girls' side!"

Ezekiel looked away ashamed as Izzy smiled and patted his shoulder. "Izzy gave him permission."

"You shouldn't let him in the girls' side," Bridgette grumbled as she looked around the cabin. "Didn't you hear what he said at dinner?"

"Oh, he didn't know any better," the redhead said as she looked around too.

"He really should have."

"Hey guys!"

Harold, outside, looked through the window. "You should come see this!"

The three walked outside to where Harold was. The lanky nerd was on his hands and knees, studying the ground. "Tracks. Two humans, one may be Duncan, one obviously Leshawna."

"How can you tell it's Leshawna?" Bridgette asked.

"It's...," Harold sighed and said, "it's sunk deeper into the ground."

"Oh, that means it's done by someone heavy," Izzy said, nodding.

Harold nodded back. "They look like they headed for the forest, probably afraid of the bear."

"Bear?!" Bridgette and Ezekiel shouted. The surfer girl covered her mouth in horror.

"Yeah, bear tracks are around the cabin, but it's heading off in a different direction," Harold said. "Let's follow the footprints. Ezekiel, can you get us some flashlights?"

"Sure, eh."

As the prairie boy headed off, Bridgette looked at Harold with an approving smile. "Harold, I'm impressed," she said. "How'd you learn to do that?"

"Possum Scouts," he said, giving the Possum Scout salute. She giggled, though not in a mocking way.

"Hey, Bridgette," Izzy said, peeping up behind the surfer girl. "He's got skills. Guys with mad skills make great boyfriends."

Bridgette and Harold turned bright red. Izzy giggled; she loved doing that to people, it was even more fun than scaring them.

* * *

"That's all you went to jail for?" Leshawna said, scoffing. "That can't be all."

"I'm not saying the main reason why just yet," Duncan said. "I'll wait until we're dating."

"You take too much for granted, Baby Boy."

"Oh really, beautiful?" he said, scooting over to her. "You're saying you don't want to kiss me?"

"I didn't say that. I'm just saying you're taking it for granted that I'll kiss you. Ask nicely."

Duncan winced, and sighed; this was going to hurt. "Alright," he muttered, quietly, "can I... please kiss you?"

"What was that, Baby Boy?"

"I said," he said, raising his voice and looking at her, "can I please kiss you?"

Leshawna grinned, grabbed him by his shirt collar, and yanked him over. He barely had time to let out a startled cry before her lips were on his. It lasted a few seconds, then it was over. Duncan's head span, and Leshawna's heart was fluttering.

"Yes," she said.

"Damn," he cursed. "You're good... never been kissed like that before."

"That's how I roll, sugar."

"I'm eager to learn more on how you roll."

Leshawna grinned. "Then you gotta keep up the nice routine, Baby Boy."

"Argh... please?"

She quirked an eyebrow. "You learn fast. How is it a smart boy like you never learned to stay on the right side of the tracks?"

"The other side is more fun."

* * *

Harold led the small group, Izzy draped on Ezekiel's shoulder and Bridgette walking with her hands in her jacket pockets. The redhead was looking rather fondly at the prairie boy.

"What's it like being home schooled?" she asked, batting her eyes.

"It's... preferable," he muttered. "Keeps me away from all the bad stuff out there in the world, eh."

"Like girls," Bridgette said, bitterly.

"Are you still mad at him about that?" Izzy asked.

"Yes, I am," the surfer snapped, glaring at Ezekiel. "I've been in sports all my life, and I have friends who are athletes too. My mother has been caring for me ever since my dad died. I don't like the fact that he's insisting my friends, my mother, and I aren't as strong and smart as his mighty gender."

Ezekiel swallowed, staring at the angry blond; however, Izzy looked almost giddy. "See, Zeke? Now you knows why you shouldn't put down women. Especially since I can bench-press you."

" 'Zeke'?" Bridgette repeated.

"You can?" Ezekiel asked, looking surprised.

Izzy nodded, and then, in a swooping motion, she lifted Ezekiel up and carried him bridal style. When he let out a small yelp, she giggled and rubbed her nose against his.

"You're much lighter than I thought you would be," she said.

"Um... thanks?"

Bridgette was weirded out by all this, and she walked up to Harold. When she reached him, she reached out to pat his shoulder; however, it was right when he was leaning down to observe the tracks closer, and she knocked him on the ground.

"Oh Harold, I'm so sorry," she apologized as she helped him up.

"Gosh, you have a habit of beating me, Bridgette," he said. When she looked confused, he said, "Remember when you laid me out flat with the board while we built the jacuzzi?"

"I... I did that?" she said, looking horrified. "I... oh man, I don't remember that, but it sounds like something I accidentally do."

"Accident prone much?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm so much more coordinated on water than land," she admitted. She scratched her head nervously, and when she raised her elbow, she accidentally hit him in the ear with his elbow.

"Ow! You don't have to prove it," he yelped.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," she cried, touching his ear. "Did I hurt you much?"

Harold, who was distracted by Bridgette touching him, replied with, "What?"

Izzy clicked her tongue from behind them, making a purring noise. Bridgette withdrew her hand and cleared her throat.

"So um," she tried to sound casual as Harold watched the tracks again, "what are the Possum Scouts like?"

"Really fun, only place I've ever felt like I've belonged," he said, smiling in memory. "I got more badges than anyone, I even love staying out in the woods. Mother Nature's awesome when she's not acting up my allergies."

Bridgette would have continued, but she started to hear something weird. It was wet and constant, and low growls mixed in.

"What is that?" she asked, stopping to listen.

"Sounds weird," Harold remarked. "Not like anything I've ever heard."

"Somehow familiar, though," Bridgette said. "I've heard it before..."

"Sounds like someone making out," Izzy, still carrying Ezekiel, said, walking up to them.

As Bridgette and Harold exchanged looks, Izzy walked ahead and then her giggling echoed across the forest.

"We found them," she called out. Harold and Bridgette hurried forward as Izzy added, "We found them at first base!"

"Izzy," Leshawna said as she got off of Duncan, wiping her mouth. "Jeez, crazy white girl, yell louder so the campgrounds will hear, will ya?"

Duncan sighed and snapped his finger. "Damn, this was going so well too."

"What," was what Bridgette said. "What... are you two... were you two..."

"Duncan, what are you thinking?" Harold shouted, waving his hands in the air. "Courtney is going to hit the roof!"

"Why should I care about what she thinks, you nerd?"

"Don't call him that," Bridgette shouted.

"I thought you said you were going to be nicer," Leshawna remarked, shaking her finger at Duncan as she adjusted her finger.

"Izzy loves it that you two are dating now," the redhead cheered, putting Ezekiel down. "But it's sad you're not on the same team."

"You were just carrying Home School, what's up with that?" Duncan asked.

"Don't avoid my question, Baby Boy," Leshawna scolded him.

" 'Baby Boy'?" Harold repeated, smirking.

"Leshawna, not in front of them, jeez!"

"Don't be disrespectful to those that found us now."

"Well, it's not like we're going to find our way back, they're as lost as we are."

"I can follow our tracks back," Harold said.

"Oh really now?"

"It's true," Bridgette said, standing up to Duncan. "Harold has some great skills. Unlike you, who ran off in the woods and scared us all! We were worried about you, and Leshawna."

"Izzy wants to know if you two got to second base, seeing that is your underwear over there," the crazy girl said, eyeing the purple bra nearby.

"Gah! No no no no," Leshawna sputtered, picking it up. "This is what the criminal was stealing from my room, the little pickpocket."

"Hey," Duncan said, feigning being hurt, "I think I prefer Baby Boy over that nickname, beautiful."

"You were stealing the girls' underwear?!" Harold shouted indignantly. "Gosh, you idiot pervert!"

"I say we leave him out here," Bridgette said, sharing a nod with the lanky nerd.

"Will you all pump the brakes just a little?" Leshawna cried out. "For goodness sake, all this yelling and hollering is starting to sound like Heather."

They were quiet for a few seconds, then Izzy looked around. "Hey, where's Zeke?"

" 'Zeke'?" Duncan asked. "Are you really into Home School, crazy girl?"

"Ezekiel is charming," Izzy said, turning her nose up at Duncan.

"He's a sexist home schooled dork, _eh_."

"And yet he risked being voted off by trying to find you, _dork_," Izzy shot back. "You were going to be disqualified and shipped home, but Zeke wanted to find you to be fair."

This silenced Duncan. He even looked ashamed as Izzy called out for Ezekiel. "See Baby Boy," Leshawna said, shaking her finger at him. "This is why it pays to be nice."

Duncan sighed, and shrugged. "Yeah, whatev's."

"Don't give me that lip, you should be grateful to Ezekiel, you stu-"

"Guys, over here, eh!"

Ezekiel's call was close, and the five teenagers hurried over. They walked through the edge of the forest, and found themselves on a cliff. Ezekiel stood near the side, smiling back at them.

"I wandered off because all the shouting was getting kind of scary," he admitted, "and I found this, eh."

He gestured to the landscape down in front of him. The moon, bright in the sky, lit up the gorgeous sight. The trees and grass swished in the gentle wind, and the rivers glistened with the shine of the moonlight; it was a grand sight of Mother Nature's work.

"I'll be damned," Duncan said, staring out at the beautiful sight. "This crappy island isn't so crappy after all."

"Damn straight," Leshawna agreed, smiling at him.

He smiled back and took her hand in his. "What's this?" she asked. "You trying to be romantic, Baby Boy?"

"Just like I say what I think, I do what I mean to do," he said, and kissed her forehead. She chuckled and snuggled against his side.

"You're one heck of a man, Baby Boy."

"And you're a real woman, beautiful."

"So what's that mean, anyway?"

"Izzy thinks she knows."

The redhead stood next to the couple. "Duncan says that because he's had experiences with superficial girls, and he detests that he cannot find a woman who'll make him feel all right, and maybe even subconsciously, will keep him on the line and give him a reason to pursue a clean lifestyle, so that he can have a long, enjoyable life with someone he can actually love and cherish to the end of his days, something he doesn't really think possible unless he meets a real woman."

Duncan and Leshawna blinked, and the criminal looked at the plus-sized sister. "Something along the lines of what crazy girl said."

Ezekiel stared at Izzy, his mouth slightly agape. "You're so smart," he said, in complete awe. "You're... really incredible, Izzy."

Izzy looked over at him, her red hair fluttering in the wind. There was a slight blush on her face. "Hey, c'mon, no one ever calls me smart. They mostly call me crazy and weird."

"But you're neither of those," he insisted. "You're interesting and fun, eh."

Izzy was now fully blushing. "You think so, Zeke?"

"I really wish you had stayed on our team... I really like you," he admitted, blushing as hard as she was. "I'm... I'm really soo'ry a'boot what I said at dinner tonight."

" 'Soo'ry'?" she repeated, giggling.

"Very soo'ry. You're way smarter and stronger than any guy I knoo', eh."

"Hey, wait a minute," Duncan said in protest.

Izzy suddenly hugged Ezekiel tightly, grinning. "Izzy knew you weren't a sexist! You hear that, Bridgette? He apologized!"

The surfer girl was distracted, as she was leaning against Harold as she looked at the gorgeous landscape. "Hmmm?" she asked.

"Oh, you have a thing for Harold then?" Izzy asked.

As Harold and Bridgette blushed, the redhead pulled them together and shouted, "Go on, admit it! You both are outdoors people, and you're more lucky the rest of us here."

"What's that mean?" Bridgette asked.

"You guys are actually on the same team."

* * *

"Finally," Chris shouted as he saw the six teenagers approach the bonfire ceremony area. "Do you people _know_ how long we've been waiting here?"

"Soo'ry," Ezekiel said, shrugging his shoulders.

Katie, Sadie, Courtney, DJ, Geoff, Tyler, and Eva all looked relieved that their teammates were back. They were, however, confused why Izzy and Leshawna were with them.

"You all alright?" DJ asked, approaching them.

"We're fine," Bridgette said, nodding and smiling. "Everything's okay. Leshawna and Duncan just got a little lost."

Courtney looked at said couple suspiciously. "How'd they get 'lost'?"

"None of your beeswax, princess," Duncan replied.

The CIT glared at him with her one good eye. "Fine, be that way, you petty criminal."

"Don't be calling him that, chicken head," Leshawna said, snapping her fingers. "I'll come over there and wring your neck."

"Alright Leshawna," Duncan cheered, high-fiving his new girlfriend.

"If you all are done," Chris Maclean declared, "it's really late, and I'm sick of standing here!

"Ezekiel," he pointed at the prairie boy, "get on the Boat of Losers and get out of here! Now, buh-bye, don't forget to write!"

"What?" Izzy gasped.

"Alright then eh," Ezekiel said, shrugging. "Bye guys. Bye Izzy, I'll miss you a lot."

He started to walk the Dock of Shame when Izzy grabbed the hood of his jacket. "No, you can't go! Izzy won't stand for it!"

Chris sighed and shook his head. "Izzy, down girl."

"But he's my new boyfriend!"

Everyone gaped at this remark, even Ezekiel. "R-Really?" he stammered, turning towards her. "You... you want to go 'oot with me, eh?"

She nodded. Grabbing his shoulders, she pressed her lips to his, kissing him with all the passion and romance the crazy redhead had in her.

"Oh wow," Tyler declared amid the gasps and coos of approval.

Izzy released Ezekiel, panting and smiling at the prairie boy. "That a good enough yes, my Zeke?"

Her answer was for him to wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her back. Duncan let out a cheer, shouting, "Way to go, Home School!"

"Knock it off, Baby Boy," Leshawna said, elbowing him. "Don't embarrass him."

"Hey, he's kissing her in front of everyone."

"This is true, but you know, this proves he's more of a man than you."

"Say _what_ now?"

"Well, he's kissing his girl in front of everyone, not ashamed of current conditions or what they think," Leshawna remarked. "You think you're man enough to do that, Baby Bo-"

She didn't get to finish her pet name, as Duncan seized her in his arms and kissed her full on the lips. Leshawna bat her eyes, then closed them as she kissed him back. The Killer Bass and Chris gaped at this too; Courtney let out a confused, frustrated cry.

"This is too much," Chris grumbled. "Look, Ezekiel had the most votes," he said after Ezekiel and Izzy finished their kiss. "So he has to go!"

"Izzy won't stand for it," Izzy snapped.

"It's either that or Duncan has to go, because he was late for the ceremony!"

"Leshawna won't stand for that," Leshawna shouted after finishing her kiss.

"You all really don't have a say in this," the host said, rubbing his temples.

"There's a way we can settle this."

Courtney was the one who had spoken up. "You know Chris," she continued, after a long exhale, "it is past midnight."

"What's significant about that, Courtney?"

"Why don't we just say that no one has to go home tonight, call it a neutral standpoint if you will," she said with a shrug. "We all just want to go to bed, I know you do.

"And your hair is starting to stick out unattractively."

The host cried out as his hands flew to his head. "Fine fine, no one goes home tonight," he shouted, desperately smoothing out his hair. "Go to bed, see you tomorrow, you can even sleep in! Bye!"

He rushed off, hands on his hair. Courtney blinked (well, winked), startled. "Wow," she said, "that worked much better than I thought it would."

"You're brilliant, Courtney," Katie cheered at Courtney. "Isn't she brilliant, Sadie?"

"Yes, she is! You really made him run!"

"It's strategy, girls," the CIT said, standing up and heading off for the cabins. "You study your enemies, you learn how to defeat them. So I read up on Chris Maclean before I came here. Bloody narcissist."

"Smooth move, princess," Duncan said, his arm around Leshawna's waist.

"Gotta hand it to you, you really resolved that, girlfriend," the sister said.

"Look, don't think I'm trying to be nice," Courtney snapped at them. "And I really don't care that you're smooching someone on the opposite side, Duncan!"

"You gonna tell me who to date now?"

"Ugh. No, no I'm not," the CIT muttered, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "I don't care what you do during your free time here on the island. But I expect you to do your best when it comes time for the real competition! If you, or Ezekiel over there, slack off in any way to be nice to your new girlfriends, you're out of here."

"Fair enough," Duncan said.

"And don't think Ezekiel's off the hook either, because he has that crazy redhead with him! He still made those sexist comments!"

"He actually apologized," Bridgette said, "and I think he really meant it."

Courtney looked at the surfer girl. "You sure?"

Harold nodded. "The man was sincere, as people usually are, when they are in love"

"Whatever," Courtney muttered. She took off her chicken hat and threw it away as she walked off. "Dating the enemy is so foolish."

As the other Killer Bass followed her, Bridgette was counting on her hands. "Wow... that was a haiku, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Wow, Harold," she said, smiling at him. "You are something else."

"Thank you, m'lady."

The two didn't even realize at first that they were holding hands, then when they did, they blushed. They continued to hold hands as they headed to Killer Bass cabin.

Geoff noticed this, and snapped his fingers. "Dang man," he muttered to DJ, "I should have gone with them."

"Don't feel too bad," DJ said to him, patting his back. "There's more ladies on this island."

Geoff sighed, and someone else patted his back. It was Duncan, who was holding Leshawna's hand with his other hand. "You'll get over it, my friend," he said.

"Being nice, I see," Leshawna observed. "Nice work, Baby Boy."

"Anything for you, beautiful."

She grinned at him. "You know, I don't think I mind you saying that anymore."

"Awesome."

"But Bridgette was really something else," Geoff was wailing. "I was really hoping... aww, never mind. It's hopeless now."

"Not all is lost, cowboy," Leshawna said to the devastated young man, holding Duncan close to her as they walked. "There's always Beth or Gwen!"

"But they're on the other team," Geoff said, "and Courtney would really flip her lid and freak if more of us were dating someone on the opposite team!" 

* * *

A week later, Duncan and Leshawna caught Courtney in lip-lock with Noah. She, growing very red in the face and making her freckles stand out, immediately began to stammer an explanation.

"He's, um," she blabbered as they grinned at her, "very... quite compelling and logical."

The two looked at Noah, who was wiping Courtney's lipstick off his mouth.

"I can speak French," he translated.

"Better go let Geoff know he can ask out Gwen," Leshawna said to Duncan.

"We're a bad inspiration, aren't we babe?" he asked her.

"Chris must be steamed this contest isn't as fervent as he wanted it to be," she answered, "what with everyone falling for the enemy."

**The End.**

* * *

--

--

--

So what did you all think of this one? Too much, too little? Believable or incredulous? Was I too hard on Courtney, or did you like how I ended it on a good note for her? Say so in your reviews!

And yes, I'll start working on TDC again now. I promised Winter-Rae I'd do something for her in thanks for the last chapter of All I Want For Christmas. Don't worry your pretty little heads, I haven't forgotten my main project.

Oh, and if you have any issues with the pairings in this story, well, that's crack pairing for you. Like Duncan, I don't like to follow the rules.


End file.
